I’ve been collecting corny network engineer jokes that have occasionally erupted on Twitter from time to time. Here they are.
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. Bartender says: “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” – Matthew Norwood
A dhcp packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says , “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!” @brandoncarroll:
An LSA Type 6 packet walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender ignores him. – @someclown
An LSA Type 2 packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender say’s “here, but don’t leave the area with it.” @someclown
ICMP packet walks into a bar from warehouse and announces – “no more beer” – @fsmontenegro
Sometimes I feel like a multicast packet. Ask 10 differenet people how to get somewhere and get 10 different answers. @jodylemoine
An RTP packet walks into a bar through the wrong entrance. The barman says “You’re not getting any special treatment” – @xchewtoyx
A multicast packet walks into a bar and leaves by four different exits at the same time – @xchewtoyx
“Knock Knock” “who’s there?” “Denial of Service Attack” “Den…?” “Sn(kRzIhAw]BoKaoOv0liZPhl~FaLoaSa*AgSeaLp|ExleT…” – @MattGordonSmith
A BGP Update walks into a CRS-1. He walks back out with a corrupt optional transitive attribute. – @xchewtoyx
A DNS packet walks into a liquor store – where do I find beer “ABC”?. Clerk: aisle 4, top row on the right. @fsmontenegro
An IPv6 packet walks into a bar. Nobody talks to him. @fsmontenegro
A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” @stevie_chambers
Dhcp pkt stands on a dark street and shouts “does anyone have a beer!?” A bartender of a nearby bar says “sure come on in, lets see the menu. You can have this beer. Patron says “can I have this beer?” Bartender “Aye. But I will need the glass back..er unless you still want it! – anonymous
A Network Engineers tell a joke in a full bar. One man laughs. They start talking about NX-OS and have a blast. @icemarkom
Q. How do you catch an Ether Bunny.
A. With an Ethernet!!
@etherealmind
Q. What did the OSPF router say to the other OSPF router ?
A. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.
Five routers walk into a bar. Who gets the car keys? The Designated Router. @scottrobohn
DNS is the root of all problems – @jimbofx
IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…” @fsmontenegro
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. Bartender says: “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” – Matthew Norwood
A dhcp packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says , “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!” @brandoncarroll:
An LSA Type 6 packet walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender ignores him. – @someclown
An LSA Type 2 packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender say’s “here, but don’t leave the area with it.” @someclown
ICMP packet walks into a bar from warehouse and announces – “no more beer” – @fsmontenegro
Sometimes I feel like a multicast packet. Ask 10 differenet people how to get somewhere and get 10 different answers. @jodylemoine
An RTP packet walks into a bar through the wrong entrance. The barman says “You’re not getting any special treatment” – @xchewtoyx
A multicast packet walks into a bar and leaves by four different exits at the same time – @xchewtoyx
“Knock Knock” “who’s there?” “Denial of Service Attack” “Den…?” “Sn(kRzIhAw]BoKaoOv0liZPhl~FaLoaSa*AgSeaLp|ExleT…” – @MattGordonSmith
A BGP Update walks into a CRS-1. He walks back out with a corrupt optional transitive attribute. – @xchewtoyx
A DNS packet walks into a liquor store – where do I find beer “ABC”?. Clerk: aisle 4, top row on the right. @fsmontenegro
An IPv6 packet walks into a bar. Nobody talks to him. @fsmontenegro
A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” @stevie_chambers
Dhcp pkt stands on a dark street and shouts “does anyone have a beer!?” A bartender of a nearby bar says “sure come on in, lets see the menu. You can have this beer. Patron says “can I have this beer?” Bartender “Aye. But I will need the glass back..er unless you still want it! – anonymous
A Network Engineers tell a joke in a full bar. One man laughs. They start talking about NX-OS and have a blast. @icemarkom
Q. How do you catch an Ether Bunny.
A. With an Ethernet!!
@etherealmind
Q. What did the OSPF router say to the other OSPF router ?
A. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.
Five routers walk into a bar. Who gets the car keys? The Designated Router. @scottrobohn
DNS is the root of all problems – @jimbofx
IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…” @fsmontenegro
